There was this truck driver who had to
500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck
the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves
another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to
the state zoo for him.
The next day the original truck driver
arrives in town and sees the new
truck driver crossing the road
with 500 penguins walking in single file
original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "What's
I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"
truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had
money left over so now we're going to see a movie."
Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his
pal asked him how he
had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied,
"it was a total con! I saw
a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I
followed it and saw the monkeys.
Then I saw another sign that said To
The Bears, so I followed that and
saw the bears. But when I followed
a sign that said To the Exit, I
found myself out on the street."
Fred's class was taken to the Natural History
Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when
"Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to
Come on, Fred,
I'll take you to the zoo. If
the zoo wants me, let them come and get
Some vampires went to see Dracula. They
"Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?"
replied Dracula, "have lots of giraffes."
I took my son to the zoo yesterday.
did they accept him?
I was in the zoo last week.
Really? Which cage
were you in?
Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?
One to get in and one to get out.
A man went to work for a zoo
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he
"Carefully," replied the vet.
Father and son standing outside the elephant's
cage in the Moscow
Zoo. Father tells son, "If we stand around here
long enough, one of them
will throw some food at us."
The manager of a large city
zoo was drafting a
letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his
computer and typed
the following sentence: "I would like to place an
order for two
mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he
the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I
like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your
Again he stared at the screen, this time
focusing on the new word,
which seemed just as odd as the original
one. Finally, he deleted the whole
sentence and started all over.
"Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo
should be without a mongoose," he
typed. "Please send us two of
One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utang
was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those
"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was
brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the
zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a
ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the
twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence
feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the
kangaroo, "How high
do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said,
"About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the
gate at night!"