In the beginning, God created the earth and

rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.

- Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"

I said, "Dust!"
Scientists have discovered a food
diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%.

- It's called wedding
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months!

- I don't like to interrupt her.
What's worse than a
Male Chauvinist Pig?

- A woman that won't do what she's told.
If your dog is
barking at the back door and
your wife is yelling at the front door, who
do you let in first?

- The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.
How do you
fix a woman's watch?

- It
doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven.
How do you know when a
woman is about to say
something smart?

- She starts her sentence with "A man once
told me..."
Why do women have smaller feet than men?

- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.