Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !
Well you
did ask for a tongue sandwich !
there is a fly in my soup !
sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor
Waiter, there is a fly in my wine !
Well you
did ask for something with a little body in it!
Waiter, there is a worm
on my plate
That's not a worm sir, it's your sausage ?
Waiter, there is a
spider drowning in my
soup !
It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !
Waiter, there is
a maggot in my soup
Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there !
Waiter, there is a cockroach on my
They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !
Waiter, there's a fly in my custard !
fetch him a spoon sir !
Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?
madam I wiped it off !
Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in
ice-cream !
Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early
in the
year !
"Waiter !
Have you got frogs' legs ? "

"No, sir, I always walk this way"
Q: How many Waiters does it
take to change
a light bulb?
A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a
waiters eye
Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on

that long order?
Cook: Because I'm a short order cook.
Waiter: Why are you taking so long
Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.
Waiter: I'm
sorry to keep you waiting.
Your soup will be ready soon.
Customer: What bait are you using?
Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.
Waiter: If you know the
food here is so
lousy, why do you keep coming back?
Customer: It reminds me of my
ex-wife's cooking.
Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain

Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider
in my
Waiter: It scares away the flies.
Patron: This bread
is stale.
Waiter: It
wasn't last week.