Waiter, this coffee
tastes like
Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.
Waiter! Waiter! This salad is
Yes, sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it.
CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float?

WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.
CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig

WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.
CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler?

WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.
"Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "How dare
you serve me this!
There's a damn TWIG in my soup!"

apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch
Sir you
haven't touched your
I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline
Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my

starter !
I can't do that sir, he's not had his main course yet
Waiter, there
is a frog in my soup
Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !
Waiter, there is a
dead fly in my soup
No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !
Waiter, what's this bug
doing waltzing
around my table !
It's the band, sir, they are playing his tune !
Waiter, what is this creepy-crawly doing in my
Not him again, he's in here every night !
Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup
Don't worry sir I'll fish him out and exchange it for a bean
Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice
cream sundae ?
Skiing sir !
Waiter, I can't eat this
meat, it's
crawling with maggots !
Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab
it as it goes by
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Hold on
sir, I'll get the fly spray !
Waiter, there is a bee in my
alphabet soup
Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters
Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup
Don't worry sir, they don't eat much !
Waiter, are there
snails on the menu
Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !
Waiter, there's a fly in my
soup !
it's the rotting meat that attracts them !