#1
When do clocks die?
When their time is up.
#2
If your watch is broken, why can't you go
fishing?
Because you don't have the time.
#3
Why do people beat their clocks?
To kill
time.
#4
Why couldn't the clock be kept in
jail?
Because time was always running out.
#5
Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is

around?
Because time will tell.
#6
When is the best time to go shopping?
When the
stores are open.
#7
What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber
take
the family silver?
Time to get a new watchdog.
#8
What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat
down
the street?
Five after one.
#9
What dog can tell the time ?
A watch dog !
#10
A man with one watch knows what time it is.
A
man with two watches is never sure.
#11
While proudly showing off his new
apartment
to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

"What is
the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends

asked.

"That is the talking clock," the man replied.

"How's it
work?" the friend asked.

"Watch," the student said then proceeded to
give the gong an ear
shattering pound with the
hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT

OFF, YOU JERK! It's two AM!"
#12
1st Roman Soldier: What is the time ?
2nd
Roman Soldier: XX past VII !
#13
Do you know the time
?
No, we haven't
met yet !
#14
Why is the time in the USA behind that of England

?
Because England was discovered before the USA !
#15
One day a man met three beggars. To the first he

gave a dime, to the second a dime, and to the third a nickel. What
time
was it?
A quarter to three.
#16
Why did the man put a clock under his desk?
He
wanted to work overtime.
#17
What time is it when a clock strikes

thirteen?
Time to get it fixed.
#18
Why did the kid put his clock in the oven.
He
wanted to have a hot time.
#19
What kind of watch is best for people who don't
like
time on their hands?
A pocket watch.
#20
Julie: What time is it?
Counsellor: Three
o'clock.
Julie: Oh,no!
Counsellor: What's the matter?
Julie:
I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a
different
answer!