What did the answering machine say to the

Take my word for it.
How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?

They both have rings!
Why did the chicken walk on the telephone
She wanted to lay it on the line!
How do, like, really laid-back types answer
the phone?
How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?

What do you get if you cross a telephone
with a
night crawler?
What do you get if you cross a telephone

with a fat football player?
A wide receiver.
Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is
stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should really take
something for
that cold.
Operator: Good idea. I'll take the rest
of the day off!
What animals talk on the telephone the most?

The yakety-yaks!
What do
you get if you cross a phone
with a rooster?
A wake-up call!
Hello, police? Please send an officer over
to 324 London Road
right away!
Sorry, this isn't the police
station. It's the Delicatessen.
Oh. Well, in that case, please send
over a pastrami sandwich!
Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know

what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long distance calls
Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are
long enough
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an

Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!
Party Host: Hello?
Phone Caller: I'm
trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima.
Could you please
ask if anybody at your party knows her?
Party Host: I'd be glad
to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but
does anybody know Ima
How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?

You get a buzzy signal.
What do you get when you cross a telephone
with a pair of
Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my

boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour?
Operator: No, but
if you hum a few bars, I might be able to sing along
with you.
When doesn't a telephone work

When it's wringing wet!
What do you get if you cross a pig and a
telephone ?
A lot of crackling on the line !
What do you get if you cross a telephone

and a marriage bureau ?
A wedding ring !