Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in

Russia ?
Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !
Teacher: What is can't short for ?
Cannot miss
Teacher: and what is don't short for
Pupil: Doughnut
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28
Pupil: All of them !
Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a
liquid that won't freeze
Pupil: Hot water !
Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my

questions ?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point
in me being here
Teacher: This is the third
time I've had
to tell you off this week, what have you got to say
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds
there are in a year ?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
Mother: Does your teacher like you ?
Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X's on my test paper
Mother: How do you
like your new teacher
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and
she didn't give me one !
Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning

About an hour and a half after I arrived at school
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in
one day ?
Pupil: I get up early !
How do bees get to
school ?
By school
buzz !
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in
class ?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !
do French pupils say after finishing
their school dinners ?
Mercy !
Teacher : Can't you retain anything in your

head overnight ?
Pupil : Of course, I've had this cold in my head
for two days !
Teacher: What can we do to stop polluting

our waters ?
Pupil: Stop taking baths ?
Teacher: If you have five
haystacks in one
corner, five in another and two in another, how many would
you have
Pupil: One big haystack !
Teacher : Why are you
reading the last
pages of your history book first ?
Pupil: I want to know how it ends
Teacher: Why are you picking your
nose in
class ?
Pupil: My mother won't let me do it at home !
Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good,

but where is the wagon ?
Pupil: The horse will draw it !