An American tourist was lunching in a
in China where the specialty was duck. The waiter explained
each dish as
he brought it to the table. "This is the breast of the
duck; this the
leg of the duck; this is the wing of the duck; etc."
Then came the
dish that the American knew was chicken. He waited
for the explanation.
Silence. "Well?" he finally asked, "What's
this?" The waiter
replied, "It's a friend of duck."
Sign at restaurant reads:
Eat here diet
A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner

one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken

almondine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have
that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.
Q:What did one plate say to the other
A:('Lunch is on me!')
Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play

Yes, sir. Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've
finished my
There was an awful fight at the seafood
Four fish got battered!
The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant

recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket

approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?"
down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you
the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on

Young woman sat down in small

restaurant, a waitress came over to take her order.
"I'll have a hamburger
"Burger!" she yelled over her shoulder. Then woman added.
"Make that
well done."
Waitres turned away again.
it!" she yelled.
Is your food spicy Sir ?
No, smoke
always comes out of my ears !
"What's the matter with your dinner
"Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor

later what I've eaten !"
A out-of-towner in New York at the height
of the tourist season
decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd
enjoyed on a previous
trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of
an overworked waiter, he
said, "You know, it's been over five
years since I first came in here."

"You'll have to wait your turn,
sir," replied the harried and now
irritated waiter, "I can only
serve one table at a time."
Two little boys were
visiting their
grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They
make up their minds about what they wanted to eat.
Finally the
grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring
them bread and
One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have
ketchup on
Waiter, what is this bug doing on
wives shoulder!
I don't know - friendly thing isn't he !
At which fast food
restaurant is a
hamburger happiest?
Arthur Treacher's Fish and Chips!
Once a man went to a resturant and ordered

an egg. When it was brought he didn't liked it so he informed the

waiter that the egg was bad.
Came the reply:
"I don't lay
egg sir I just lay table !"
Hello? Fred's Restaurant.
Hello! I'd
like to know, do you serve crabs?
We serve anyone, sir! Come on
What does a Chinese restaurant
for Easter?
Coloured eggrolls!
Girl: How much is a soft drink
Waitress: Fifty cents.
Girl: How much is refill ?
Waitress: The first is
Girl: Well then, I'll have a refill.
Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger
No, but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken

I went to a restaurant that serves

-breakfast at any time.- So I ordered French Toast during the