first began thinking like
Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa
became Democrats because they never stopped believing in
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting
their children play "Cowboys and Indians."
either, as long as the Indians win.
Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial
Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait
until the week
before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it
Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is
"Deck the Halls."
Young Democrat's favorite Christmas carol is
"Grandma Got Run Over by
Republican's favorite Christmas
carol is "White Christmas."
Young Republicans' favorite Christmas
carol is "White
Most Republicans try, at least
enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their
families in their Christmas cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats
usually discourages them from doing it
Democrats wear wide red ties and green
sports jackets during the festive season.
Republicans do too, all
Republicans always take the price tag off
expensive gifts before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags
off pricey gifts ... and reposition
them to make sure they are
Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is
"Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is
"It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite
Christmas movie is "Die Hard."
Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and
work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas
Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at
night to look
at *other* people's lights.
Republican parents have
buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why
their kids pretend to shoot each
other with dolls.
Democrats do much of their shopping at
Target and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
When not in stores, Republicans shop from a
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late
toasting the holidays, Republicans
ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."
their kids open all the
gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until
Democrats get back at the Republicans on
their Christmas list by
giving them fruitcakes.
them and send them to in-laws.
Republicans help the poor during
holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the
Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"