Three Republicans walk into a bar.
bartender says, "We don't serve Republicans here."
say, "That's OK...We don't serve you either.
A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do
all Fairy Tales begin with Once
Upon A Time?"
And he replied,
"No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin
Elected I promise...'"
redneck calles up the White House and
tells the receptionist:
"I'd like to become the next President of
the United States."
The receptionist: "What are you, an
Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
Politics Poli (Poly):
Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures
that fool Reagan said that the
Soviet Union was a failed
experiment headed for the ash heap of history,
I knew he was a
When that fool Reagan said that the
Soviet Union was an evil
empire, I knew he was a dangerous
When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War
escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored
When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated
I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan
nothing to do with it.
Because if that fool Reagan was right all
...what kind of fool am I?
I don't think this whole White House
scandal is good for
parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie,
said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town
A political man to a woman, "You look
The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I
could not say the same
"Sure you could!!" said the
political man, "if you could lie as well
as I do!"
What is the difference between the
the Mafia? One of them is organized.
Q: Why do they always fly
around a live
turkey in a cage on Air Force 1?
A: For spare parts.
Q: How can you tell if it
was a shared
computer used by many staffers?
A: There is writing on the
Three boys were heading home from school
one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal
one-upmanship. He said, "My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can throw
90-mph fast ball from the pitcher's mound and run and catch it
after it crosses the plate!"
One of the other boys
said, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad can shoot an arrow
from his bow and run to
the target and hold it up to make sure the
arrow hits the bulls
The last boy said, "Your dads don't even come close to
than mine. My dad works for the government, and even
though he works
every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"
Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian
problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in charge.
Q: What's the difference between
Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?
A: No fee--If No Recovery!
Q: How do you know when a liberal is really
A: His heart stops bleeding.
Q: How does Al Gore spell potato?
Q: What is the basement where White House
staffers work called?
A: The whine cellar.
Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of
secret service agents?
A: He's the stiff one.
Q: What were the three toughest years in Al
A: Grade six.
Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets
treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get?
Q: You know what the
political jokes is, don't you?
A: They get elected.