#61
A man
and his wife were making their first
doctor visit, the wife being
pregnant with their first
child.

After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and
stamped
the wife's stomach with indelible ink.

The couple was
curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got
home, the
husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it

was.

In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come

back and see me."
#62
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My
wife is pregnant, and
her contractions are only two minutes apart!"


"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you
idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"
#63
With four
daughters and one son always
dashing to school activities and part-time
jobs, our schedule was
hectic.

To add to this, we kept running out of household
supplies.

I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any

item by writing it down on a note pad on the
refrigerator.

As a reminder, I wrote at the top: "IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT

DOWN."

When I checked the pad a few days later, to my delight I
found the
following message:

"MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT
OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT 'OUT OF
IT."'
#64
Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by

eleven o'clock."

She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a
child!"

He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by
eleven."