#1
Q.How is a heart like a musician?
A.They both
have a beat :)
#2
How do you
make a bandstand?
Take away
their chairs
#3
An eight-year-old kid says
t his dad, "When
I grow up, I want to be a musician."
The dad says, "I am sorry --
can't have it both ways."
#4
A saxophone is like a lawsuit.
Everyone is
happy when the case is closed.
#5
Hey buddy.
How late does the band
play?
About half a beat behind the drummer.
#6
Did you hear about the classical pianist who was

not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a
sign
on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"
#7
1st
man: "My neighbors were screaming and
yelling at three o'clock this
morning!"
2nd man: "Did they wake
you?"
1st man: "Nah....I was up playing my bagpipes."
#8
A down and out musician was playing his

harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman

asked, "May I please see your permit?" I don't have one,"
confessed
the musician. "In that case, you'll have to accompany
me."
"Splendid!" exclaimed the musician. "What shall we sing?"
#9
One day the bass player hid one of the

drummer's sticks.
The drummer said, "finally! After being a drummer for
so long,
now I am a conductor!"
#10
Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to
chorus?
A: He wanted to sing higher!
#11
Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a

violin?
A: You get light music.
#12
Do you think, Professor, that my
wife should
take up the piano as a career?
No, I think she should put down the
lid as a favor.
#13
Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the
three
piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
#14
What's musical and
holds gallons and
gallons of beer?
A barrel organ.
#15
Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed

wire fence miss his music lesson?
Because he'd already done
the sharps and flats.
#16
Why did they arrest the musician?
He got
into treble.
#17
What is musical and
handy in the
supermarket.
A Chopin Lizst.
#18
Why did the music student have a piano in the

bathroom?
Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.
#19
When is the water in the shower room musical?

When it's piping hot.
#20
What do you call a mammoth who conducts an

orchestra?
Tuskanini.