Q.How is a heart like a musician?
A.They both
have a beat :)
How do you
make a bandstand?
Take away
their chairs
An eight-year-old kid says
t his dad, "When
I grow up, I want to be a musician."
The dad says, "I am sorry --
can't have it both ways."
A saxophone is like a lawsuit.
Everyone is
happy when the case is closed.
Hey buddy.
How late does the band
About half a beat behind the drummer.
Did you hear about the classical pianist who was

not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a
on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"
man: "My neighbors were screaming and
yelling at three o'clock this
2nd man: "Did they wake
1st man: "Nah....I was up playing my bagpipes."
A down and out musician was playing his

harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman

asked, "May I please see your permit?" I don't have one,"
the musician. "In that case, you'll have to accompany
"Splendid!" exclaimed the musician. "What shall we sing?"
One day the bass player hid one of the

drummer's sticks.
The drummer said, "finally! After being a drummer for
so long,
now I am a conductor!"
Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to
A: He wanted to sing higher!
Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a

A: You get light music.
Do you think, Professor, that my
wife should
take up the piano as a career?
No, I think she should put down the
lid as a favor.
Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the
piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
What's musical and
holds gallons and
gallons of beer?
A barrel organ.
Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed

wire fence miss his music lesson?
Because he'd already done
the sharps and flats.
Why did they arrest the musician?
He got
into treble.
What is musical and
handy in the
A Chopin Lizst.
Why did the music student have a piano in the

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.
When is the water in the shower room musical?

When it's piping hot.
What do you call a mammoth who conducts an