#41
Why did the monster go into hospital?
To
have his ghoul-stones removed.
#42
What did the monster say to his
psychiatrist?
'I feel abominable.'
#43
MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice

to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she

hits you.
#44
What do you get if you cross a monster with a

flea?
Lots of very worried dogs.
#45
FIRST MONSTER: I'm going
to a party
tonight.
SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you?
FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go
to the graveyard and dig out a few old
friends.
#46
Why is
the monsters' football pitch
wet?
Because the players keep dribbling on it.
#47
FRED: Your monster was
making a terrible
noise last night.
BERT: Yes - ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks
he can sing.
#48
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I
counted
the rings under her eyes.
BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My
sister's tongue is so long, she can
lick an envelope after she's
posted it.
#49
What do you get if you cross a bird with a

monstrous snarl?
A budgerigrrrrr!
#50
FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a
monster with
one hand.
SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't!
FIRST HUMAN BOY:
Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it.
#51
How can you tell if a monster has a
glass
eye?
When it comes out in conversation.
#52
What is a monster's favourite society?
The
Consumers' Association.
#53
What's big and hairy and goes 'beep
beep'?
A monster in a traffic jam.
#54
An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven

legs walked into a tailors shop.
'Quick!' shouted the tailor
to his assistant. 'Hide the "Free
Alterations" sign!'
#55
What do sea monsters have for dinner?
Fish
and ships.
#56
If storks bring
human babies, what bring
monster babies?
Cranes.
#57
A very tall monster with several arms and
legs, all of
different lengths, went into a tailor's shop.
'I'd
like to see a suit that will fit me,' he told the tailor.
'So would
I, sir,' said the tailor. 'So would I.'
#58
'Here's a good book,' said the
sales
assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster.
'How To Help Your Husband
Get Ahead.'
'No, thank you,' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's
got two heads
already. . .'
#59
Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?
To
see if blondes have more fun.
#60
What's big and ugly and drinks
out of the
wrong side of the glass?
A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.