A couple was having a discussion about what
to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it
weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied,
dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in
Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any
"we" in the first place."
A little boy
wanted $100 badly and prayed for
two weeks but nothing happened. Then he
decided to write a letter
to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities
received the letter addressed to the Lord,
USA, they decided to send it
to President Clinton. The President was so
impressed, touched, and
amused that he instructed his secretary to send
the little boy a
$5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money
to a little
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to
thank-you note to the Lord. It said:
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that
for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as
those jerks deducted $95.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a
tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon
finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said
you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied
afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"