If you want to get
rich, why should you keep
your mouth shut?
Because silence is golden.
If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the
Empire State Building, which would jump off first?
because it has less sense (cents).
How did the man feel when he got a big bill from
the electric company?
He was shocked.
Why did Robin Hood steal from the
Because the poor didn't have any !
Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged
Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.
Martin ended a letter to his
dad with this
question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar
His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?'
answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen
One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm looking for
my dollar bill,' Max replied. 'I lost it down the
don't you look for it there?'
'Because the light's better
'I can't find my dollar bill,' Jane
'Don't worry,' her Counselor said. 'A dollar doesn't go very far
Visitor: You're very quiet,
Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your
'Five dollars for one question!' said the girl
to the fortune-teller.
'That's very expensive,isn't it
My sister fell in love at second
she first met him she didn't know how rich he
Why did your sister feed money to her cow
Because she wanted to get rich milk.
A little monster was learning to play the
violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother.
should be on the radio,' said his brother.
'You think I'm that
'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I
switch you off !
If you found a five
dollar bill in every
pocket of your coat, what would you have ?
Someone else's coat.
said to his friend, 'can you lend me
'But I only have $8,' his friend replied.
That's OK, you
can always owe me the other $2!
collected lots of money from trick or
treating and he went to the candy
store to buy some chocolate. '
You should give that money to charity,'
'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
William: May I have some
money for the man
crying outside ?
Mum: What crying man ?
William: The one that's
crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad
asked him why.
'I've lost five cents,' sobbed
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,'
this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
An English teacher asked her class to write an
essay on what they'd do
if they had a million dollars. Alec handed
in a blank sheet of paper.
'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've
done nothing. Why?'
'Because if I had a million dollars, that's
exactly what I would do
Three boys were walking along the beach one day
they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a
banknote on a
big rock when a ghostly voice calls out
'' I am
the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the
The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the
thing happens again.
The third boy goes in ,sees the five
dollars and cries out,''I am the
ghost of David Crockett and this
five dollars goes in my