Q:Why did the man put
his money in the
A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband
his wife the good news:
"Honey, we've finally got enough
money to buy what we started saving
for in 1979."
"You mean a
brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.
"No," said the husband, "a
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment
banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
He's so happy that
he's giving some serious thought to paying back
his student loan.
Q: What do you call
A: Question marks.
Why was the struggling
mange seen shaking
the club cat ?
To see if there was any more money in the kitty !
Why did you just swallow the money I
gave you ?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money !
A couple was having a
family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it
weren't for my
money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied,
"My dear, if
it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and
asked what was wrong.
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend."
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked
me how much
I was willing to spend on her education."
What did the pay
phone say when the quarter
got stuck inside it?
Money's tight these days!
How do thunderstorms invest their
-In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets
What is the quickest way to double your money
Fold it in half !
Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in
Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose
Why is someone who borrows money but does not
pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives
you a quarter back and sometimes a half
What dog has
A bloodhound, because
he is always picking up scents (cents).
If George Washington were
alive today, why
couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?
dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
Why was the skunk arrested for
Because he gave out bad scents (cents).
Who makes a million dollars a day?
who works in a mint.
If you had a million dollars and gave away one
quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much
you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
How did rich people
get their money?
were calm and collected.
Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new
An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.