Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect

Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback.
He had
scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he
find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene
in Bosnia.
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young
Bosnian soldier
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade
straight into a
15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka- boom! He
threw another hand
grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away
-- ka-blooey! Then a
car passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye!

"I've got to get this guy!" Ross said to himself. "He has the

perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the
great game of
football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl
for the first time in

The young Bosnian is lioni
zed as the Great Hero of football, and when
Ross asks him what he
wants, all the young man wants to do is to call
his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."

don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted
You are not my son."

"I don't think you understand, Mother!"
the young man pleads. "I
just won the greatest sporting event in the
world. I'm here among
thousands of my adoring fans."

let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment,
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.

Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,

and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight."

old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive
for making us move to Detroit."