#41
How many psychiatrists does it take to
change a light bulb? "Why does
the light bulb necessarily have to
change?"
#42
How many psychiatrists does it take to

change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this

phantasy?"
#43
How many psychologists does it
take
to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits.
#44
How many
psychologists does it take
to change a light bulb? Just one, but the
light bulb really has to
want to change.
#45
How many psychologists does
it take
to change a light bulb?
None. The light bulb will change itself when
it's ready.
#46
Doctor, Doctor,
I think I'm a
bridge.
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a
coach.
#47
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm

under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with
people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I,
YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
#48
Doctor, I have a ringing in my
ears.
Don't answer!
#49
Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59
seconds
to live.
Wait a minute please.
#50
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small

bucket.
You do look a little pail.
#51
Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!
No
problem. Hop up on the couch.
#52
Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate,

one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank!
And how long
have you had this complaint?
What complaint?
#53
Doctor, doctor, I keep
trying to get
into fights.
And how long have you had this complaint?
Who wants
to know?
#54
Doctor, doctor, I'm
manic-depressive.
Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm
#55
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a

spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.
#56
Doctor, doctor,
people keep telling
me I'm ugly!
Lay on the couch, face down.
#57
Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I

say.
Tell me the truth now, what's your REAL problem?
#58
Doctor, doctor, nobody understands

me.
What do you mean by that?
#59
Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a

wheelbarrow.
Don't let people push you around.
#60
How do
you tell the difference
between the staff and the inmates at a
psychiatric hospital?

The
patients get better and leave.
Not everyone of the patients thinks
he is God.
The staff have the keys!