#1
A guy named Joe finds
himself in dire
trouble. His business
started going bust and he found himself in serious
financial
trouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray
for
help.

"Oh Lord, please help me, I've lost my business and if
I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as
well,
please let me win the lotto".

Lotto night arrived and somebody else
won the prize.

Joe again looked up and prayed...

"Oh Lord,
please let me win the lotto! I've lost my
business, my house and
I'm going to lose my car as well".

Again, Lotto night came and
went and Joe still had no luck.

Once again, he prayed...


"Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business,
my house
and my car. My wife and children are starving. I
don't often ask
you for help and I have always been a good
servant to you. Please just
let me win the lotto this one
time so I can get my life back
in order ... "

Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as
the heavens
opened and Joe was confronted by the voice of the
Lord
himself:

"Joe, Meet Me Half Way On This One. Buy A
Ticket!"
#2
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular

diamond ring.

"Where did you get that ring?" her husband
asks.

"Well, she replies, "my boss and I played the lotto and we
won, so I
bought it with my share of the winnings.

A week
later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.

"Where did
you get that coat?" her husband asks.

She replies "My boss and
played the lotto and we won again, so I
bought it with my share of
the winnings.

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving
in a red Ferrari.

"Where did you get that car?" her husband
asks. Again she repeats the
same story about the lotto and her share
of the winnings.

That night, his wife asks him to pour her a
nice warm bath while she
gets undressed. When she enters the bathroom,
she find that there is
barely enough water in the bath to cover the
plug at the far end.

"And this?" she asks her husband. "
Well," he replies, "we don't
want to get your lotto ticket wet,
do we?!"