#1
Q: How many editors does it take to change
a lightbulb?
A: It was supposed to be in place last week!
#2
Q: How many publishers does it take to
change a
lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold
down the
editor.
#3
Who do you think was sent to cover the
story of the baby lion born in the
zoo? A cub reporter.
#4
An honest weatherman says, "Today's

forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm
wrong."
#5
A weather forecaster took a job in another

part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The

weather didn't agree with me."
#6
What do you get if you cross a radio music
presenter
with Match of the Day ?
DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !
#7
What do you get if you cross a ghost and a
newsreader ?
A spooksman !
#8
What do you get if you cross a newsreader
and a toad
?
A croaksman !
#9
What do you get if you cross a sports

reporter with a vegetable ?
A common tater !
#10
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of

the window?
He wanted to see a butterfly.
#11
Q: How many
journalists does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired
government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a
diabolical government plot to
deprive the poor of darkness, and one
to win a pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a
lightbulb assassin to break the bulb
in the first place.
#12
Reporter: What made you
go out on that
dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?
Boy Hero: I
had to do it. He had my skates on.
#13
Reporter: To
what do you attribute your
old age?
Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.
#14
Reporter: My editor sent
me to do the
burglary.
Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
#15
A woman telephoned her local newspaper to

let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children.
The
reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you
repeat
that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.
#16
A
journalist assigned to the Jerusalem
bureau takes an
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day
when she
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.
So
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.


She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you

done that and what are you praying for?"

The old man replies,
"I have come here to pray every day for 25
years. In the morning I
pray for world peace and then for the
brotherhood of man. I go home
have a cup of tea and I come
back and pray for the eradication of
illness and disease from
the earth."

The journalist is
amazed. "How does it make you feel to come
here every day for 25 years
and pray for these things?" she
asks.

The old man looks at her
sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."
#17
How many editors does it take to change a
light
bulb?
Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire
building.
#18
How many computer journalists does it take
to screw in a light
bulb?
Five. One to write a review of all the
existing light bulbs so you can
decide which one to buy, another
one to write a remarkably similar one
in another magazine the next
month, a third to have a big one come out
on glossy paper two months
later that is by then completely out of
date, a fourth to hint in
her column that a completely new and updated bulb
is coming out, and
the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is
shipping with a
virus.
#19
How many
journalists does it take to
change a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change
them." Three. One to
report it as an inspired government program to
bring light to the people,
one to report it as a diabolical government
plot to deprive the poor of
darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer
prize for reporting that Electric
Company hired a light bulb assassin
to break the bulb in the first
place.
#20
How many journalists does it take to change

a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change
them."