How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly

You use a spirit level.
Did you hear about the sick ghost?
He had
oooooo-ping cough.
Which ghost ate too much porridge?

Ghost: Are you coming to my party?
Where is it?
Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say, the
morgue the
A butler came running into his important
"Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the corridor. What
shall I do with
him?" Without looking up from his work the master
said, "Tell him I
can't see him."
What do young ghosts write their homework in?

Exorcise books.
Who said "Shiver me timbers!" on the ghost ship?

The skeleton crew.
What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping?

Lazy bones.
What did one
ghost say to another?
sorry, but I just don't believe in people.
Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated
my room!
Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm just passing
What do you call a ghost who only
haunts the
Town Hall?
The nightmayor.
What do you get is you cross a ghost with a

packet of potato chips?
Snacks that go crunch in the night.
What are pupils at ghost schools called?

Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.
Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Anyone he could dig up.
A man was staying in a big old
house and in
the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said,
"I have
been walking these corridors for 300 years."
The man said, "in that
case, can you tell me the way to the
Did you hear about the
ghost who enjoyed
doing housework?
He used to go round with the oooo-ver.
Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to

He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.
Did you hear about the ghost comedian?
was booed off stage.
What happened to the ghost who went to a party?

He had a wail of a time.
What is a ghost
boxer called?