If there were no food left, what could people
Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people
have their traffic jams.
What could you do if you were on a
island without food or water?
Open your watch: drink from the spring,
and eat the sand which is
(sandwiches) there.
How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots
(carats) to it.
Why are oranges like bells?
You can peel
(peal) both of them.
What food is good for the brain?
What food are you able to can?
Cannibal (can
able) food.
How can you tell the
difference between a can
of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?
Read the label.
Camper: There's
something wrong with my hot
Cook: Don't tell me. I'm not a veterinarian.
A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered
slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with

lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.
'Would you like a
cherry on the top ?' asked the waitress.
'No, thanks,' said the
girl, 'I'm on a diet !'
What did the ice cream say
to the unhappy
"Hey, what's eating you?"
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown

one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big

father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her,
squashing her
into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
An elderly couple were killed in an
and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint
"Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts,

swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just

stop by any of the many bars located throughout the

"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we

could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that

stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"
What did the female mushroom say
about the
male mushroom?

"He's a real fun guy [fungi]."
Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine?

They keep repeating themselves.
When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he
Lone Lee.
What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter

of a pound of ground beef?
A humburger.
Why did the teacher have
her hair in a bun?

Because she had her nose in a hamburger.
First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her
had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her
lips like
cherries - that's my girl.
Second boy: Sounds like a
fruit salad to me.
Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what
would it remind you of?
Pupil: A pear.
What's red and green and wears
A fruit punch.