What did the farmer say when his fat pig
wouldn't fit into the pen?
"There's more there than meets the
How does the pig farmer get to the fair?
FARMER: Did you sleep well last night?
GUEST: No, the bed was soft and the air was fresh, but an old sow kept
pushing at the door.
FARMER: Never mind her. She always gets upset
when we rent out her
Farmer Jones bought a herd of pigs from a Roman
moved into the next valley and boy, is he sorry.
hogs won't come to the feed trough unless he calls them in Pig
Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving
he built a pig-powered car.
He has to get rid of it,
though. Every time he turns a corner, the
Farmer Brown put up a pig-shaped weather vane,
he's not happy with it.
Instead of pointing with the wind,
the pig vane keeps pointing toward
the feed trough.
What did the farmer say when he lost his
Wheres my tractor!
Why did the farmer feed his
pigs sugar and
He wanted sweet and sour pork !
What did the farmer say when all
charged him at once ?
I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !
Why are farmers cruel?
Because they pull
corn by the ears.
What is the difference between a dressmaker and
A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers
How does a farmer send messages?
Did you hear about the farmer
crayons to his chickens?
He wanted them to lay coloured eggs!
Camp Woodland was across the
road from a
dairy farm. One day the kids saw a large bull.
'Is that bull safe?'
someone asked the farmer.
'Safer than you are!' was his answer.
Camper: Is it easy to milk
Farmer: Sure it is. Any jerk can do it.
Why was the farmer
hopping mad ?
Because someone had trodden on his corn !
Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated
the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine
and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !
A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned
with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields
over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the
broken down. During his first day of work, the town
preacher stops by to
bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God
work together to make
this the farm of your dreams!" A few months
later, the preacher stops
by again to call on the farmer. Lo and
behold, it's a completely
different place. The farm house is
completely rebuilt and in excellent
condition, there is plenty of cattle and
other livestock happily munching on
feed in well-fenced pens, and
the fields are filled with crops planted
in neat rows. "Amazing!"
the preacher says. "Look what God and you
together!" "Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but
remember what the farm was
like when God was working it alone!"
A Texan farmer goes
to Australia for a
vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets
talking. The Aussie
shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
"Oh! We have
wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk
around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his
herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that
are at least
twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile,
almost died when the Texan sees a herd
of kangaroos hopping through
the field. He asks, "And what are
The Aussie asks
with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any
Q: Why did the farmer call his
A: Because it was always running out of the pen.