Fred: Do
you like my new hairstyle?
In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.
Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling

ugly faces.
Doctor: Don't worry, I don't expect anyone will
Wife to
Husband: I'll have you know I've
got the face of a teenager!
Husband to Wife: Then you should give it
back, you're wearing it
Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up.

Harry: Do you think so?
Fred: Yes. It's so thick that if you tell her
a joke, five minutes
after she's stopped laughing her face is
still smiling!
Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that
when a tear
rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and
rolls straight up
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll
make an
Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face

and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. "if I ever
hating girls," said one to the other, "I think I'll stop hating
Fred: You've got a Roman nose.
Harry: Like
Julius Caesar?
Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.
Fred: You have
the face of a saint.
Really? Which one?
Fred: A Saint Bernard.
What happened when the
witch went for a job as
a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for
Louise was watching her big sister covering her
with cream.
"What's that for?" she asked.
"To make me
beautiful," came the reply.
Louise then watched in silence as she
wiped her face clean.
"Doesn't work, does it?" was her comment.
What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face?

A mousetache.