A woman just back from Arizona was telling her
about the trip.
"When my husband first saw the Grand
Canyon, his face dropped a
mile," she said.
"Why, was he
disappointed with the view?"
"No, he fell over the edge."
Fred's new girlfriend uses such
lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a
Boy: You've
got a face like a million
Girl: Have I really?
Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.
A little boy came running into the kitchen. "Dad,
dad," he
said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly
"Tell him you've already got one," said his father.
Witch: Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces.

Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that.
Witch: It is
when the people with ugly faces don't like them being
Teacher: What
a glum face, what would you say
if I came to school with a face like
yours ?
Pupil: I'd be too
polite to mention it !
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a

werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your
Q.What do me and a mirror have in common?

A.When we see your face we both crack up!
Once there was a church that
had a bell that
no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the
priest if he
could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight
the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked

priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the

bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.

"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does

anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face

rings a bell."
I don't know where you got your face
but i hope you have the receipt.
Why did the pig have ink all over his face?

Because it came out of the pen.
Why is your face all scratched ?
My girlfriend
said it with flowers.
How romantic.
Not really, she hit me round
the head with a bunch of thorny roses
Why is your nose in the middle of your
Because it is the scenter (centre).
What is the hottest part of a
His sideburns.
Counselor: Wash your face.
I can see what you
had for breakfast.
Henry: If you're so smart, what did I
Counselor: Eggs.
Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
My teacher's got a
pretty face if you can
read between the lines.
Boy monster: You've got a face like a million

dollars !
Girl monster: Have I really ?
Boy monster: Yes -
it's green and wrinkly !
How did your mom know
you hadn't washed your
I forgot to wet the soap.
First Witch: I like your toad.
He always has
such a nice expression on his face.
Second Witch: It's because
he's a hoptimist.
You can read
his mind in his face.
it's usually a complete blank.