Q: Have you seen the
polish mine
A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with

your foot.
Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to
the counter
but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.
Q: What do you call an Inibrian who has been
buried for 1000
A: Peat!!!
Q: Have you heard about the new
Iraqi Air
Force exercise program?

A: Each morning you raise your hands
above your head and leave them
Do you know why Eskimos always do their laundry

in tide?
Because it's too cold out-tide!
Q: Why do
Greek men wear gold neck
A: So they know where to stop shaving.
What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the

Eskimo schoolgirl?
What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like
What did the Eskimo children
sing when
their principal was leaving?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
Because they can't spell tobbagan.
At the Russian War College, the general is a

guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will
on potential problems and the resulting strategies.

One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question,

"Will we have to fight a World War Three?"

"Yes, comrades,
looks like you will," answers the general.

"And who will be our
enemy, Comrade General?" another officer asks.

"The likelihood
is that it will be China."

The class looks alarmed, and finally
one officer asks, "But Comrade
General, we are 150 million people
and they are about 1.5 billion. How
can we possibly win?"

"Well," replies the general, "Think about it. In modern war, it is

not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in

Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs,
and the
Jews have been the winners every time."

"But sir
," asks the panicky officer, "Do we have enough jews"?
How do you stop a taliban tank ?

the Guy Pushing it
What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan?

Osama bin Latte
Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert.

When one gets something blown into his eye. His companion takes a
at his eye for him and says, "Hold still Abdul, it might be

They say that it's
tough to learn Bosnian
because it has seven verb tenses: six past, one
present, and no
There were three explorers, hiking through what

is now known as Canada.

"You know," said one of the
explorers, "we should name this place
we're hiking through."

know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and
make a name out of that."

"Okay," said the third, "I'll go
first. C, eh."

"N, eh."
"D, eh." And that's how they named
What do you get when you cross a Cuban
a Pollock?
Ricky Retardo
Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the

phone systems in China?
A: Because there are so many Wings and so
many Wongs that someone's
always Winging the Wong number.
What is
the Cuban national anthem?

''Row Your Boat!''
Q: What did the Egyptian man say to the
Egyptian woman?
A: "Come behind the pyramid, and I'll make you a
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are

wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they
upon a rotting, dead camel.

"Well," said the
Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club,
so I'll eat the liver."

"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat

"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I
seem to have lost my