An elephant was walking in a park. With each
step he took, he
squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began
to crawl up on the
elephant -- first his legs and then up all over
his body. When the elephant
started feeling all the little ants on
him, he shook hard, making all the
little ants, except for one, fall
to the ground. As the only ant on the
elephant hung on close to the
elephant's neck, the ones on the ground
began to yell, "Strangle
him!!! Strangle him!!!"
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the
jungle so
the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of
soccer. The
game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten
goals to nil,
when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star
player was dribbling
the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the
Elephants' left back
came lumbering towards him.
The elephant trod
on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee
stopped the
game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you
call that
sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied,
I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him
Two elephants jumped off a
Q: What happened when the elephant sat on

the car?
A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!
Why did the elephant eat the candle?
wanted a light snack!
Why do elephants jump across rivers?
they won't step on the fish.
Why do elephants squirt
water through
their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very
difficult to
Why do
elephants live in the
Because it's out of the high rent district.
Why don't elephants like martinis?
you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
Why are elephants large, grey and
Because if they were small round and white, they would be

Why do elephants prefer peanuts to
Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.
What does a bald elephant
wear for a
A sheep.
Why did the gum cross the road?
Because it
was under the elephants foot.
What do you get if
you cross an elephant
with the abominable snowman?
A jumbo yeti.
How does an elephant go up a tree?
stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.
do you make an elephant sandwich?

First of all, you get a very large loaf...
Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a
ton in the highway.
Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to
yield right of way.
Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very

Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for
hours at a time
How do you raise a baby elephant ?
With a
fork lift truck !
What is worse than raining cats and dogs
Raining elephants !