Doctor, Doctor everyone
throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!
Doctor these pills you gave me for

What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from
under my arms!
Doctor, doctor I keep
I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?
Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a
Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can
give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
Doctor, Doctor I
think I'm
suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed
pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil till I get there
Doctor, Doctor I think I need
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
The surgeon told his patient that woke
up after
having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to
operate you
again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves
inside you."

"Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay
for them if you
just leave me alone."
Did you hear the new penalty for

speeding in Illinois?
The first offense they give you Bears tickets
and the second offense
they make you use them.
A doctor and his wife were having a
argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he
shouted and stormed off to
By midmorning, he decided he'd
better make amends and phoned home.
After many rings, his wife
picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second