do elephants use for
The blonde was at
the blood bank and sold a
pint of blood. As she was leaving counting her
$25, a man was
leaving counting his money. He had $40. She asked if he
had some rare
blood type that he got more than she did. He said no,
that he had
donated sperm. The next day the bimbo was back at the blood
receptionist asked if she was there to donate blood. The blonde
could only shake her head, as her cheeks were bulging.
Did you hear the one about the blonde who
thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?
A blonde and a brunette were talking. The
brunette complained, "Everytime my boyfriend brings home flowers, I have
to to spend the weekend with my legs in the air." The blonde asks,
"Don't you have a vase?"
"Hello?" the blonde responded answering the
phone. Hearing no response, she repeated, "Hello?"
you want me to come over and take you into the bedroom,
lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love
until dawn." the male voice whispered.
"Scheesch! You're good."
she replied. "You mean you can tell all
that from two hello's?"
blonde arrived for her first golf lesson
and the pro asked her to take a
swing at a ball to see how she'd
do. The blonde did so and competely
duffed the shot. The pro said
"Your swing is good but you're gripping the
club too hard - grip the
club gently as you would your husband's
penis." The blonde took
another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight
down the fairway.
The pro said "That was excellent! Let's try it
again only this
time take the club out of your mouth."
A lady walks
into the dentist's office,
takes off her underwear, sits down on the
chair and spreads her legs
wide open. "You must have made a mistake" says
the shocked dentist,
"The gynecologist's office is one level
higher." To that the lady
replies, "No mistake, you installed my husband's
week, now you'll be the one getting them out."
This blonde and her boyfriend
in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it
if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"
got on a plane and sat next to a
blonde, after sitting for awhile she
sneezed, took out a tissue and
whipped her box. The man not knowing her
said nothing and went about
his business. After about 3 or 4 minutes she
sneezed again and, the
same thing, whipped her box. Finally, the man
got the nerve and
asked "what was wrong?" She said that every time she
sneezes she has an
orgasm. "Oh!" the man said, are you taking
"Yes", she said - "black pepper!"
A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her
what she would like, and she replies, "Bring me a beer."
bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?"
To which she replies, "Fine
thanks, and how's your cock?"
A blonde is suffering from a
sore throat so
she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to
who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says
wide." "I can't" replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with
walked into the doctor's surgery for
an appointment. "Would you like
to tell me your problem?" the
pretty blonde receptionist asked.
"I'll need the information for the
doctor." "It's rather embarrassing"
the guy stammered. "You see, I
have a very large and almost constant
erection." "Well, the doctor
is very busy today" the receptionist
cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze
A man comes home from work one night to catch
girlfriend sliding down the banister naked. He blurts out,
"What do you
think you're doing?" "Just heating up dinner" she
Male secretary : "Feel free to use my
New blonde employee : "No thanks, I'll just use my finger
Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to
"iron," then we could do without the ironing lady.
Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do
Three blondes are
sitting on a park bench
eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers,
one is biting hers, one
is licking hers. Which one is married?
The one with the wedding
ring, YOU SICK-O!
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and
A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.
Q: What's one thing everybody sees in
A: A dick.
Q: Why do saunas remind some people of
A: Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter, and
don't mind if you bring friends.
Q: What does a blonde say after multiple
A: Way to go team.