"Did you get
your money?" ask the wife of
the dentist who had just return from the
delinquent patient's
"Not a cent," growled the dentist, "and worse than that, he
me, and gnashed my teeth at me!"
Dentist: "You don't need to open your mouth
wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."
A man went to his dentist because he feels

something wrong in his mouth.
The dentist examines him and says,
"that new upper plate I put in for
you six months ago is eroding.
What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "all I can think of is
that about four months ago my
wife made some asparagus and put some
stuff on it that was delicious
... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so
much I now put it on everything ---
meat, toast, fish, vegetables,
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly
It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new
plate, and this
time use chrome."
"Why chrome?" asks the
patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's
simple. Everyone knows that
... there's no plate like chrome for the
What to do you call an old dentist?
A bit
long in the tooth
Pardon me for a moment,
please," said the
dentist to the victim, "but before beginning this
work I must have
my drill."
"Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably.
"Can't you
pull a tooth without a rehearsal?"
Papa, why is it that dentists call their
offices dental parlors?"
"Because they are drawing-rooms, my son."
Patient:Do you extract teeth
Dentis: "Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my
believe that the members of the dental

profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her
mouth and
get away with it.
Gerald: "Have you ever come across a man who,
at the
slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every
fiber of your
Mabel: "Yes, the dentist."
A patient asked the dentist, if it
nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth.
dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their

What's worse
than having your doctor tell
you that you have VD?
Having your dentist tell you.
Patient: How much to
have this tooth
Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100.

Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.

anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the

tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!

Hey, WITH pain it
costs $200 !!!, replies the dentist.
Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth

"Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the
Dentist to patient: "Where are you going?"
"To a plastic
surgeon to get my mouth bent."
lady to father "Daddy, when I grow
up shall I become a heart-doctor or
a tooth-doctor "
"Why father ?" "We have only one heart, but 32
Young Charlie
to dentist's sexy chariside
assistant "Aha ! Are you the lady
orthodontist ?".
The lady
replied "No, but I'll straighten anyone's teeth "
Dentist to parsimonious patient "No, we give
no discount for empty
spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs.
Dentist: Just
let me finish and you will
be another man after these cosmetic
Patient: Okay
doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other
Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever

Assistant: Why don't you marry her?
Dentist: I can't
afford to. She's my best patient.
Doctor, I am very nervous. You
know, this is my first extraction.
Young dentist: Don't worry, it's
my first extraction too.
"I came in to make an appointment with the
dentist." said
the man to the receptionist." "I'm sorry sir." she
replied. "He's
out right now, but..." "Thank you." interrupted the
nervous prospective patient. "When will he be out again