Why is a sinking ship like a
Because it needs bailing out.
When did the criminal get smart?
judge threw the book at him.
What three letters in the alphabet frighten
What kind of robbery is not dangerous?
What is the difference between a thief and a
One steals from the people, the other peals, from
What diploma do criminals get?
If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man,
Organised grime (crime).
Who is the strongest thief?
What kind of thief steals meat?
What hired killer never goes to jail?
How do bank robbers send messages?
What did the
burglar say to the lady who
caught him stealing her silver?
I'm at your service, ma'am.
'It's a pity
you've gone on hunger
strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on
visiting day. 'Why ?'
'I've put a file in your cake.'
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and
no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the
yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get
Through the doorway - there were no doors remember !
Policeman: Did you
know your vehicle was
Criminal: It wasn't when I took it.
Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables
on my desk?
Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.
Detective: How did you
Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at
Detective: Do you think
I should put on
Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.
Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for
the robbery, boss?
Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a
Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any
good, it only has sentimental value.
Mugger: That's all right.