What do you call a frog who wants to be a
Hoppalong Cassidy.
Who is in cowboy films and is always broke?

Skint Eastwood.
What did the cowboy maggot say when he went
into the
saloon bar?
Gimme a slug of whiskey.
Who do zombie cowboys fight?
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back

on the ranch about his
first visit to a big-city church. "When
I got there, they had me park
old truck in the corral," Joe
"You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more
"I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued.

"The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him.
"Inside the
door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on.
"That would be the
usher," Charlie explained.
"Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe
"You mean the aisle," Charlie said.
"Then, he led me to a
stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued.
"Pew," Charlie
"Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said
when I sat
beside her."
A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are

to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought
the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last
to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be
grateful if'n yoo'd play 'Achy Breaky Heart' fur me
bahfore ah hafta

"Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says
the warden. He turns to
the biker, "And you, biker, what's your
last request?"

"That you kill me first."
Teacher: When do
astronauts eat?
At launch time!
The cowboy
was trying to buy a health
insurance policy. The insurance agent was
going down the list of standard

"Ever have an accident?"

"Nope, nary a

"None? You've never had any accidents."

"Nope. Ain't
never had one. Never."

"Well, you said on this form you were bit by
a snake once. Wouldn't
you consider that an

"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
Three cowboys
were hanging out in the
bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex,"
said the first. "He's going to
start bragging about that new foreign car
he bought as soon as he
gets back."

"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always
be just a good
ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say
is hello."

"I know Tex better than either of you," said the
third. "He's so
smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he
comes now." Tex swung
open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi,
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire
in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed
he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only
allowed one
seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher
became more
impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm
going to have to
call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.

usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned

with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the

cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The
surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy,
you're name?"

"Sam," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The