What do you get if you stuff your computer's
disk drive
with herbs?
A thyme machine.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a

A big mac.
What do you get if you cross a computer

with a ballet dancer?
The Netcracker suite.
What do you do if your computer hums?
it to change its socsks!
What do computer experts do at weekends?
for a disk drive.
What did the mouse say to the
What did one mouse say to the other
I get a click out of you.
What did one
keyboard say to the other
Sorry, you're not my type.
Want to buy a pocket computer?
No, thanks,
I already know how many pockets I've got.
This computer
you charged me L950 for
doesn't work....and you said it would be
trouble free.
It is, I
charged you L950 for the computer, but you're getting all
trouble absolutely free!
Teacher: Shall I put the school computer
Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you're wearing looks fine.
Teacher: Look at the state of the school

computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in
Pupil: But then it will crack and we won't be able to use it at

Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a

choice of computers to use.
Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the
one we've got or don't
use any at all.
Mum, Mum,
Dad's broken my
How did he do that?
I dropped it on his head.
I've been sitting at this computer for hours
and I haven't seen a
single website.
That's because you're
supposed to sit facing the screen.
I've been on my computer all night!
you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone

How do you stop your laptop batteries from

running out?
Hide their trainers.
Helpline? I've just pushed a
piece of
bacon into my disk drive!
Has the computer stopped working?
No, but
there's a lot of crackling.
Customer: I think I've got a bug in my
Repairman: Does your computer make a humming noise?
Repairman: Then it must be a humbug!
Everytime I log onto
the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes
snow white....