Did you hear about the
Louisiana Tech
professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours,
wondering where
he'd seen himself before?
Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!

Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?
Professor Yes, but
I thought it was mine!
What do you get when you
cross a Texas
Aggie with an ape?
A retarded ape.
Why don't Purdue athletes
eat pickles?

They can't get their heads in the jar.
Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher

stay awake every night?
He was trying to find a cure for
What does the N on the Nebraska
helmet stand for?
How do you know a Brigham
Young student's
been mowing the lawn?
The welcome mat is destroyed.
Why do University of
Arkansas graduates
tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?
So they can park
in handicapped spaces.
Teenage Driver: But,
officer, I'm a
college man.
Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.
An applicant was being interviewed for
to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the
"where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon.
I guess
I'll be on the golf course by now."