Did you hear about the University of Miami
fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?
How does a New York University psychology
major turn on
his lights in the morning?
By opening the car
What do they call a bunch of Mississippi
players standing in a circle holding hands?
A dope ring.
How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?
Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten
minutes to answer.
Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking
through the campus. "Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?" "Yes!" "For the
whole basketball team?"
Jeb and Eudell, University of
athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside
city limits they saw a sign: "CLEAN REST ROOMS." By the time they
got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.
How many Buckeye
football players does it
take to change a lightbulb?
One. But he gets three hours credit.
Did you hear about the UCLA track
won a gold medal?
He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed.
"Did you hear? Lament's gettin' a
"What does Ph.D. stand for?"
"in his case, Pin-headed Dope."
What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps
at thin air?
Collecting his thoughts.
Why did the Oregon State psychology
climb up the chain link fence?
To see what was on the other
How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to
Shine a flashlight in his ears.
What do you
call ten Utah State law
students standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
How many Wake Forest
does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Seventeen. One to do it
and sixteen to shell the M&M's.
Did you hear about the Penn State professor
went around in a revolving door for six hours because he
remember whether he was going in or coming out?
you measure a Villanova graduate's
With a tire gauge.
And then there was the UCLA professor
opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants.
hear about the Western Kentucky
professor who kissed the door goodbye and
slammed his wife as he went
Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon?
When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.
"Professor, I hear your wife has had twins.
Boys or girls?"
"Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy
but it may be the
other way around."