Q: What is the best thing that ever came out

of Arkansas?
A: Highway 55.
Q: What's the difference between Bill

Clinton and a container of yogurt?
A: Yogurt has culture.
When will there be a woman in the White
A: When Hillary leaves town.
Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away

from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy
over to give her a ride.
One night Bill Clinton was
awakened by
George Washington's ghost in the
White House. "George, what is the
best thing I could do to help the
country?" Clinton asked.
"Set an
honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.
next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark

bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the

Clinton asked.
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government,"
advised Tom.
Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet
another figure
moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.
"Abe, what is
best thing I could do to help the country?"
Clinton asked.
Abe replied, "Go to the theater."
What's the difference between Bill
Clinton and Joseph Stalin?
A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired
Q: How many Hillary Clintons
does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: One--she just holds the bulb and the
world revolves around her.
Q: What's the differents between
Clinton and an elephant?
A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton

and David Koresh?
A: Koresh only burned 85 people.
Q: Why
doesn't Bill like old
A: He's afraid of the draft.
What did Boris Yelstin say when asked
if meeting Clinton made want to
convert Russia to the type of
government they have in America?
A: "Never! I'm not going to let my wife
run the country!!"
Q: How can you tell that the guy
attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to
thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did

Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke?
A: "You idiot! I
told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one

class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a


One little boy stands up and offers "If my best
friend who lives next
door was playing in the street when a car came
along and killed him,
that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton
says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her
hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove
off a cliff,
killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid
not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a

The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.

"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who
can give me an
example of a tragedy?"

Finally, a boy
in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
"If an
airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a
bomb, T
HAT would be tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous!
And can you tell me WHY that
would be a tragedy?"

says the boy, "because it couldn't be an accident, and it
would be no great loss!"
Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if

the President died?
A: Bill Clinton of course!
Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat
play Chess?
A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good
at Chess.
The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three
games to
Q: Did you
hear they put two new faces on
Mt. Rushmore?
A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.
Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton

A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on
Q: Why did Bill Clinton
cross the
A: To meet the chick.
Clinton goes around telling people we humans

are genetically 99.9% similar.
Apparently the 0.1% is the
character gene.
Q: If called to
testify in a trial how
long will it before before Clinton commits
A: When he's
sworn in.