Q: What is the best thing that ever came out
A: Highway 55.
Q: What's the difference between Bill
Clinton and a container of yogurt?
A: Yogurt has culture.
When will there be a woman in the White
A: When Hillary leaves town.
Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away
from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy
over to give her a ride.
One night Bill Clinton was
George Washington's ghost in the
White House. "George, what is the
best thing I could do to help the
country?" Clinton asked.
honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.
next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark
bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government,"
Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet
moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.
"Abe, what is
best thing I could do to help the country?"
Abe replied, "Go to the theater."
What's the difference between Bill
Clinton and Joseph Stalin?
A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired
Q: How many Hillary Clintons
does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: One--she just holds the bulb and the
world revolves around her.
Q: What's the differents between
Clinton and an elephant?
A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit.
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton
and David Koresh?
A: Koresh only burned 85 people.
doesn't Bill like old
A: He's afraid of the draft.
What did Boris Yelstin say when asked
if meeting Clinton made want to
convert Russia to the type of
government they have in America?
A: "Never! I'm not going to let my wife
run the country!!"
Q: How can you tell that the guy
attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to
thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did
Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke?
A: "You idiot! I
told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one
class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a
One little boy stands up and offers "If my best
friend who lives next
door was playing in the street when a car came
along and killed him,
that would be a tragedy."
says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her
hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove
off a cliff,
killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."
not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who
can give me an
example of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy
in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a
HAT would be tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous!
And can you tell me WHY that
would be a tragedy?"
says the boy, "because it couldn't be an accident, and it
would be no great loss!"
Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if
the President died?
A: Bill Clinton of course!
Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat
A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good
The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three
Q: Did you
hear they put two new faces on
A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.
Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton
A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on
Q: Why did Bill Clinton
A: To meet the chick.
Clinton goes around telling people we humans
are genetically 99.9% similar.
Apparently the 0.1% is the
Q: If called to
testify in a trial how
long will it before before Clinton commits
A: When he's