#1
A bus filled with politicians was
driving
through the
countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus
driver,
caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and
crashes
into the ditch.

A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash
and
rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the
politicians
he buries them.

The next day, the police come to the farm to
question the
man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the
police
officer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some
said they weren't, but you
know how politicians lie."
#2
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton

were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one
day,
they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas.
It
seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high
school love.

They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.


As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around

Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you
would
be the wife of a service station owner today."

She
smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be

President of the United States."
#3
Q: What's Clinton doing to
make Americans
happy?
A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left
to feed
your family--you're happy.
#4
Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the

House
Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a
car
together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and
whirls them up into the
air and tosses them thousands
of yards away. They all fall into a
daze.

When they come to and extract themselves from
the
vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz.

They decide
to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The
Wizard is known for granting
people their wishes.

Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard
for a brain."
Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for
a heart."
Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?"
#5
Q: How can you identify a
computer that
has been in use at the Clinton White House?
A: There is White-out on
the screen.
#6
Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers
given coffee
breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
#7
Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a

confused child?

Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to
wear
them.
#8
Q: Why were the
Clintonites pushing the
BTU Tax?
A: Because they could spell it.
#9
President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do

something about Hillary's room.
She complains that it's the
ugliest room in the White House. Maid:
Yes,
Mr. President--I'll
remove the mirrors right away.
#10
Q: How is Clinton's
health care reform a
lot like his haircut?
A: It is a lot more expensive than it
looks.
#11
Q: Why did the
IRS recently audit Bill
Clinton?
A: Because he filed as head of the household.
#12
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton

and Elvis?
A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the
Army.
#13
Q: What does Bill Clinton
have in common
with former great Presidents?
A: Absolutely nothing.
#14
Q: When did Clinton's friends become sure
that
he had political ambitions?
A: When he married outside of his
family.
#15
Q. What do you
get when you cross a
crooked
politician with a dishonest lawyer?

A. Chelsea Clinton
#16
Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military

action in Bosnia?
A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.
#17
Q: What has Clinton done that no one has

been able to do in the last 5 years?
A: Unite the Republican
Party.
#18
Q: What is the first thing that President
Clinton
says after waking up?
A: "Good morning, Bill."
#19
If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood
and
Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one
would
win?

Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that
harass is one
word.
#20
One day there
were these three boys
walking down
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP!
HELP!'
When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill
Clinton in a
lake drowning. The three boys saved
him from drowning. Bill Clinton
asks the first
boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said,
'I
want a boat.'
The second boy said 'I want a truck.'
And the
third boy said, 'I want three tombstones with are
names all on
them.' Bill Clinton said, 'why is that son?'
The little boy said,
'because when my Dad finds out that we
saved you, he is going to kill
us all!'