Who sings "Love me tender", and makes
Santa's little Elvis.
How do sheep in Mexico say
Fleece Navidad!
ELF NO. 1: What did
Santa shout to his
toys on Christmas Eve?
ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!
JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa
MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.
Why does Santa's sled get such good
Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child,
what would
he be called?
A subordinate claus.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my
pencil! What
should I do?
SANTA: Use a pen.
What can Santa give away and still keep?

A cold.
Last year's Christmas pudding was so

awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full
of currants!
Who made this Christmas pudding?
chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.
What did he use
to make it?
Elf-raising flour, of course.
Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us

oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an
Have you tried playing squash?
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas

A merry Christmas to ewe
What does Dracula write on his Christmas

cards ?
Best vicious of the season
I've had a slight
accident with your
sleigh, Father Christmas!
Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in
mint condition!
That's all right....now it's a mint with a
Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to

go out there and clear the snow!
I'm on my way, Father
Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on!
That's all
right! There's only one foot of snow!
A group of mountain
climbers once heard
Father Christmas go past.
They must have had sharp ears!
were mountain-ears!
I remember when Father Christmas first
passed his
sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the
toy factory.'Have
you passed?' I asked.
Father Christmas pointly
proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for
yourself!' he called
proudly. 'No-el plates!'
What does Father Christmas call his money
Iced lolly ?