#1
"Doctor," said the
patient, "I need help! I
can't stop acting like a cat!"
"How long have you had this problem?"
the doctor asked.
"Lest's see," said the patient, "Mom had the
litter in '41
#2
When you call a dog, they usually come to

you.
When you call a cat; they take a message.
#3
Q: Why couldn't the cat speak?

A: The dog
taped his mouth.
#4
If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
An
a-cat-emy award.
#5
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Because
of the tree bark.
#6
A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. "Excuse

me", he said to
the cat in charge, "Can you get milk stains out?"
"Sure," replied
the cat. "We'll have that stain licked in a
minute!"
#7
What is an octopus?
An eight-sided cat.
#8
What do cat actors say on stage ?
Tabby or not
tabby !
#9
What is another way to describe
a cat ?
A
heat seeking missile !
#10
Why was the cat so small ?
Because it only ate
condensed milk !
#11
When the cat's away.....?
The house smells
better !
#12
Which big cat should
you never play cards with
?
A cheetah !
#13
Teacher: Name four members of the cat
family
Pupil: Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !
#14
Why are black cats such good singers?
They're
very mewsical.
#15
What do you call a black cat than can spring up to

a six foot wall ?
A good jumpurr !
#16
What is a black cat's favourite TV show
?
Miami Mice !
#17
What's furry, has whiskers and
chases outlaws
?
A posse cat !
#18
What did the black cat say
to the fish
?
I've got a bone to pick with you !
#19
Why do black cats never shave ?
Because 8 out
of 10 cats prefer whiskas !
#20
When is it unlucky to see a black cat ?
When
your a mouse !