Why did your sister refuse the gift of a

Japanese car ?
Because she'd never be able to learn the
Brother: How do you top a car
Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.
Who drives away all
his customers
A taxi driver.
Why was the school
principal not
pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?
They were both driving
their cars at the time !
A monster goes to a petrol station and
says: Fill me up
The man at the petrol station replies: You have to
have a car for me to
do that!.
The monster replies: But I had a
car for lunch!
A boy sat on a train chewing gum and

staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sitting
said, 'It's no good you talking to me, young man, I'm stone
A tiny
racing car was developed by
American scientists. The Americans then sent
the car over to Japan
to see what the Japanese could do to better the
car. The Japanese
added sport wheels and an aero kit to the car, they than
sent it to
the U.K. The British scientists, to better the car, added a
system and window tint. They then sent it over to the Chinese,
added on a lowered suspension to the tiny car. The Chinese then sent

it over to India. The Indian scientists, looked at the tiny car,

appreciated all the modifications the other countries had made, turned it

over and stamped a sign on it.... MADE IN INDIA!!!
Personally, I like
to stay and read
the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to
black and
people began rushing for the exits, I shouted: "Quick! There
are only
enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"
A man was fed up of
having his car
broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he
would remove
it when he parked his car he also left a note saying there
is no
point in breaking in my car as there is nothing to steal. When he

returned to his car it had been broken into again and there was a new

note where his had left his, saying just checking.!
Roadway driver is driving east on
Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and
the CB crackles to life .

"Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?"
from the CB.

The Roadway driver replies . "I
don't know" .

The other trucker says " You and your brother

Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells
"Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you

Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees

another truck .he gets on the CB and says " Hey other truck do you know
the two biggest poofs in the world are?"

The other trucker
says " I don't know who?"

The roadway driver replies " Me and
my brother"
I was going 70 miles an hour and got

stopped by a cop who said, -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles
hour?- -Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that
When I get real bored, I
like to
drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car
count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
Jill's car was unreliable and she
called John for a ride every time
it broke down.

One day John
got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this
time?" he

"My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get

"Where are you?" John asked.

"I'm in the drugstore,"
Jill responded.

"And where's the car?" John asked.

replied, "It's in here with me."
A man learned shortly before quitting
that he had to attend a meeting.

He tried unsuccessfully
to locate his car-pool members to let them know
that he would not
be leaving with them.

Hastily he scribbled a message to one
fellow and left it on his desk:
"I have a last-minute meeting. Leave
without me. Dave."

At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and
found this note: "Meet
us at the bar and grill across the street.
You drove today, you
The train was about to pull out of the
station. Swinging a
large bag, a young man managed to reach the
train, throw his bag in and
climb aboard, gasping for air.

seeking at him, another man said, "Young man, you should be in better

shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat's whisker and

still be fresh. Look at you, panting away."

The young man took
a deep breath and said, "Pop, I missed this train
at the *last*
Did you ever see a country boy in New

York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers,

Blake and his parents were
at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three

of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that

they had missed the train.

"The next train is in one hour,"
said the stationmaster.

The three went back into the bar. The
parents had another drink; Blake
had a Pepsi.

Again they
heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling

"Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster.

An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the

platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The
boy was
left standing on the platform and began to laugh

"Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why
are you

"They came to see me off!"
Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred
eighty pounds, was thrown from
his seat when the Southern Railway train
he was riding derailed.

The giant teenager flew a dozen feet
through the air before hitting
headfirst against a steel partition.
For a moment Dilmer lay dazed,
rubbing his head. The conductor came
by and kneeled down beside him.

"Don't move!" said the
conductor. "We've called an ambulance."

"Naw," said the boy, getting
to his feet. "I ain't hurt so bad.
That steel wall musta broke my
A San Francisco motorist following a

taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it

stopped suddenly.

"Why didn't you let me know you were going
to stop?" he yelled into
the mist.

"Why should I?" came a
voice out of the fog. "I'm in my own
McAfee and Bracket were driving home
after a big party.

"Hey," said McAfee, "be sure to watch out for
that bridge that's
coming down the road toward us."

are you telling me to 'watch out' for?" asked Brackett.
the one who's driving!"