What did the big carburettor say to the

little carburettor?
"Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."
What would you have if your car's

motor was in flames?
A fire engine.
What happens if an
axe falls on your
You have an ax-i-dent (accident).
What is the difference between a

locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the other
trains the mind.
Where do cars get the most
Where there is a fork in the road.
What kind of car drives over
Any kind of car, if it goes over a bridge.
Who drives away all of his
A taxicab driver.
What kind of ears do trains
Engineers (engine ears).
What driver doesn't have a

A screw driver.
If an electric train travels 90

miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the

north, in which direction is the smoke blowing?
There is no smoke
from an electric train!
What is the best thing to take when

you're run over?
The number of the car that hit you.
What part of a car is the
The wheels. They are always tired.
What did the jack say to the
"Can I give you a lift?"
Why is an old car like a baby
Because it goes with a rattle.
What song does a car radio play?
cartoon (car, tune).
What did one car muffler say to the
car muffler?
"Am I exhausted!"
Teacher: "Who built the first American
Student: "Me Pilgrims."
Teacher: "The Pilgrims?"

Student: "Yeah, they made the Mayflower Compact."
What do you call a pig who's been
arrested for dangerous driving
A road hog !
Auntie Gladys
bought herself a new
rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for
a spin, but
after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got
out and
opened up the front of the car. 'Oh, Gladys,' said her
'you've lost your engine!'
'Never mind dear,' said auntie.
'I've got a spare one in the
Did you hear about
the girl who was
so keen on road safety that she always wore white at
Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough