What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?
Meals on wheels.
The cannibal king was having
a servant came running in.
"Your Majesty," he said, "the slaves are
"You don't have to tell me," said the king. "I'm
trying to eat
"Where did we get these slaves anyway?"
the country next door," replied the servant.
"We must get a new
butcher," said the king. "Bring me Delia Smith."
"We can't, Your
Majesty, she's still cooking for you."
"Well, bring her to me once
she's crispy enough," said the
First cannibal: I don't know
make of my husband these days.
Second cannibal: How about a curry?
First cannibal: We had burglars last night.
Second cannibal: Did they taste good?
Q. What did the cannibal's wife give her
husband when he came home late for dinner?
A. The cold
A cannibal son and
his father are out
looking for food. They are watching people walk down
the street. The
son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father
saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a
skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she's to
After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman." sure
the father replied, drooling. "We'll take her home and eat you
Cannibals capture three men. The men
told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will
be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The
first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.
request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for
and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his
request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they
kill him saving
his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's
turn. He asks for a
fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his
final request, so they
give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork
he begins stabbing himself
all over and shouts, "To hell with your
Did you hear about the
He got himself into a real stew.
Did you hear
about the cannibal who
joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you
with last night?
Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my
Two cannibals were having lunch.
wife makes a great soup," said one to the other.
"Yes!" agreed the
first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking
did you make of the new English teacher?"
The cannibal priest told his flock to close
their eyes and
"For whosoever we are about to eat,
may the Lord make us truly
Two cannibals were having their
One said to the other "I don't like your friend."
The other one
said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the
Did you hear about the cannibal family who
were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right
Did you hear
about the cannibals who
captured a scrawny old hunter?
It sure gave them something to chew
First cannibal: I can't find anything to
Second cannibal: But the jungle's full of people.
cannibal: Yes, but they're all very unsavory.
What happened when a cannibal went on a
He ate himself.
cannibals make suitcases out of
Because they're headcases.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with