A person went into the
office kitchen one
morning and found a new blonde girl painting the
walls. She was
wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a
little strange, he asked her why she was wearing
them rather than
old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the
"For best results, put on two coats".
A blonde was
walking down the road with a
healthy looking pig under her arm. As she
passed the bus stop,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied, "I won
her in a raffle!"
The assistant asked the blonde if she would
like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she
said, "I could never eat twelve!"
A young ventriloquist is touring the
and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in
Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual
dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her
chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid
jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as
a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from
being respected at work
and in the community and from reaching our full
potential as a person,
because you and your kind continue to
against, not only blondes, but women in
general...and all in the name of
humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed
and begins to apologize, when the
blonde yells, "You stay out of
this, mister! I'm talking to that
little idiot on your knee!"
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being,
sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't
you go home for the
day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the
day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains,
"No, I'd be better off here. I need
to keep my mind off it and I
have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and
allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need
anything, just let me
know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check
on the blonde. He looks
out over his office and sees the blonde
crying hysterically. He rushes
out to her, and asks, "Are you going to
be okay? Is there anything I
can do to help?"
plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she
that HER mom died too!"
Q: What goes VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a
flashing red light.