#1
Have
you seen stieve wonders house? -niether
did he
#2
A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each

other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit
and
said, "You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be
a
rabbit."

The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and
said, "You're slimy,
beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a
math teacher."
#3
Where do blind sparrows go for treatment ?

The Birds Eye counter !
#4
Q:
How did a blind woman pierce her
ear?

A: Answering the stapler.
#5
There were those three guys, a
priest, a
doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the
group
before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours.

Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow? He

was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved the golf

course a couple of years ago from a terrible fire, in which they all
lost
their sight. As a proof of appreciation they were given the
right to
play on the course whenever they wanted. They like that a
lot, but being
blind they are just not too good at hitting the ball,
let alone finding
it after it's hit.
The priest said, "Oh my
this is terrible. Tonight I'll say a little
prayer for these
courageous souls."
The doctor heard that and said "Don't worry. I'll send
them to a
friend of mine, he's an ophtalmologist and he works
wonders."
The engineer said "Wait. Why can't they just play at ni
ght?"
#6
Did you hear about the blind porcupine?
He
fell in love with a pincushion!
#7
Two blind man at a cinema: "Can you see

something ?"
"No".
"Then let's go in front !"
#8
A teacher at a
school for blind kids is
taking his school's soccer team to an "away
game". They stop for a
rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy
with a little
impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is
sitting in a
nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that
blind kids
can play soccer.

"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so
the kids can keep track
of where the ball is and what it's doing
by listening for it. They're
pretty good at it too."

"Very
clever!" remarks the other patron.

Just then they are
interrupted as another patron, who is looking out
the window, says, "Hey!
Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from
the bus?"


"Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being
refered
to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?"


"Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window,
r
"but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the
hell
out of my best milk cow!"
#9
A snake
and a rabbit were racing along a
pair of intersecting forest pathways
one day, when they collided at
the intersection. They immediately began
to argue with one another as
to who was at fault for the mishap.

When the snake remarked
that he had been blind since birth, and thus
should be given
additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been
blind since birth.
The two animals then forgot about the collision and
began
commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

The snake said
that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never
been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that
reason did
not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The
rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they

could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from

head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal w
as.

The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around
the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very
soft, fuzzy fur,
long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for
a tail. I think that
you must be a bunny rabbit!"

The
rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to
return
the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a

few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've

got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and
you've
got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
#10
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing

eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging
the
dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks,
"What are
you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking
around."
#11
How do you make a Venetian blind?
Poke him in
the eye
#12
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when a

dog stopped and cocked its leg against him. The blind man felt in
his
pocket for a sweet, bent down, and offered it to the dog. A
passerby
remarked what a very kind act that was considering what the
dog had done.
"Not at all," said the blind man. "I only wanted to
find out which
end to kick."
#13
One day at a busy
airport, the passengers on
a commercial airliner are seated waiting for
the pilot to show up
so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear
in the rear of the plane and begin
walking up to the cockpit through
the center aisle. Both appear to be
blind; the pilot is using a
white cane, bumping into passengers right
and left as he stumbles down
the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog.
Both have their eyes
covered with sunglasses.

At first, the passengers do not react
thinking that it must be some
sort of practical joke. After a few
minutes though, the engines start
revving, and the airplane begins
moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some
uneasiness. They start
whispering among themselves and look
desperately to the stewardesses for
reassurance.

Yet, the plane
starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking.
Some
passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to

the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more

hysterical.

When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left,
there is a
sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone
screams at once. At
the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is
airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of
relief and tells the
pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers
aren't going to
scream, and we aren't going to know when to take
off!"
#14
What is the difference between a blind man and a
sailor
in prison?
One can't see to go, the other can't go to
sea.
#15
Why are bats blind?
Well, your eyesight
wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all
day would it?
#16
Q: What do you call
a blind German?
A: A
Not See (Nazi)
#17
Q: How did a blind man drive his car?

A:
One hand on the wheel; the other on the road.
#18
Q: Why was a blind man's leg wet?

A: Her
dog was blind too.
#19
Q: How did a blind man
meet his
wife?

A: On a blind date!
#20
Q: What did a blind boy's parent's
do to
punish him? A: Rearranged the furniture