Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to

give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what ?
Helen: A nice
Mum: But I've got a nice teapot.
Helen: No you haven't.
I've just dropped it.
Did you hear about the time
sister tried to make a birthday cake ?
The candles melted in the oven.
Charley wanted to buy Farley a
cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the

typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'
The housewife answered a knock on the door
and found
a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
'Excuse me
for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, ' but I
pass your
house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that
day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of

'That's right.'
'Every day you wallop him on the head
with a loaf of bread, and yet
this morning you were hitting him
with a chocolate cake....?'
'Well, today is his birthday!'
What does a clam do on
his birthday?

He shellabrates!
Why was the monster standing on his head at

the birthday party?
He heard they were having upside-down
Why does the monster act wild
and crazy
on his birthday?
He's trying to age disgracefully!
Why did you buy me
a pair of bunny ears?

I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday

Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What do you always get
on your birthday?

Another year older!birt
Cat: "What did you get him for his

Dog: "Pant . . . pant!"
Cat: "Great . . . he needs a pair
of pants!"
Why was the birthday cake as hard
as a
Because it was marble cake!
Why did the boy feel warm on his

Because people kept toasting him!
For his birthday the monster asked for a

heavy sweater.
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!
"Were any famous men born on your

"No, only little babies."
When is a birthday cake like a golf
When it's been sliced.
What does a cat like
to eat on his
Mice cream and cake!
Man l: "I got my wife a VCP
for her
Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?"
Man 1: "No, a VCP . . .
Very Cheap Present!"
"This birthday cake certainly is crunchy."

"Maybe you should spit out the plate!"
What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?

A birthday pheasant!