Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to
give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what ?
Helen: A nice
Mum: But I've got a nice teapot.
Helen: No you haven't.
I've just dropped it.
Did you hear about the time
sister tried to make a birthday cake ?
The candles melted in the oven.
Charley wanted to buy Farley a
cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the
typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'
The housewife answered a knock on the door
a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, ' but I
house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that
day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of
'Every day you wallop him on the head
with a loaf of bread, and yet
this morning you were hitting him
with a chocolate cake....?'
'Well, today is his birthday!'
What does a clam do on
Why was the monster standing on his head at
the birthday party?
He heard they were having upside-down
Why does the monster act wild
on his birthday?
He's trying to age disgracefully!
Why did you buy me
a pair of bunny ears?
I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday
Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What do you always get
on your birthday?
Another year older!birt
Cat: "What did you get him for his
Dog: "Pant . . . pant!"
Cat: "Great . . . he needs a pair
Why was the birthday cake as hard
Because it was marble cake!
Why did the boy feel warm on his
Because people kept toasting him!
For his birthday the monster asked for a
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!
"Were any famous men born on your
"No, only little babies."
When is a birthday cake like a golf
When it's been sliced.
What does a cat like
to eat on his
Mice cream and cake!
Man l: "I got my wife a VCP
Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?"
Man 1: "No, a VCP . . .
Very Cheap Present!"
"This birthday cake certainly is crunchy."
"Maybe you should spit out the plate!"
What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
A birthday pheasant!