#1
"Look at that speed!"
said one hawk to
another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their
heads.
"Hmph!"
snorted the other. "You would fly fast too if your tail was
on
fire!"
#2
A couple of pigeons made a
date to meet on
the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The
female was
there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
"Where were you? I
was worried sick."
"It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
#3
How many ducks would there be,
if you saw two
ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two
ducks, and two
ducks behind two ducks?

Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a
row.
#4
Why did the chicken cross
the road in
Missouri?
To show the opossum it could be done.
#5
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and

Christmas???
You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
#6
What kind of doctor does a duck
visit?
A
Ducktor.
#7
Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to
take ballet lessons?
"He wanted to be a hentertainer."
#8
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if
they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels, get
it?).
#9
What do you call a vulture with no
beak?

A head banger.
#10
Teacher: What's a robin?
Fred: A bird that
steals, ma'am.
#11
Why did a man's
pet vulture not make a sound
for five years?
It was stuffed.
#12
What do you get if you cross
a giant, hairy
monster with a penguin?
I don't know but it's a very tightfitting
tuxedo.
#13
Two owls were playing pool.
One said, "Two
hits."
The other replied, "Two hits to who?"
#14
What did the scornful owl say?
Twit twoo.
#15
What do Scottish owls sing?
Owld Lang
Syne.
#16
What did the baby owl's parents say when he
wanted
to go to a party?
You're not owld enough.
#17
What do confused owls say?

Too-whit-to-why?
#18
What does an educated owl say?
Whom.
#19
What do you get if you cross an eagle with a
skunk?
A bird that stinks to high heaven.
#20
How do you make a tame duck wild?
Annoy
it.