#1
Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because
they're
two-tired.
#2
What did the bicycle call its
dad?
Pop-cycle
#3
What do you get if you cross a chemical and a

bicycle ?
Bike carbonate of soda !
#4
What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose
?
Bicycle petals !
#5
What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her
head
?
Petal !
#6
Which Elizabethan
sailor could stop bikes
?
Sir Francis Brake !
#7
Why can't an elephant ride a

bicycle?
Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.
#8
Why can't a bicycle stand up by
itself?
Because it is two-tired (too tired).
#9
When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
When it
turns into a driveway.
#10
A math student who used to come to the

university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where
did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a
`thank
you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've
been
tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well",
he
starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that
she had
passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to
thank me in
person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her
bicycle. But when I had
let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes
off, lay down on my bed,
smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me
whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a
really smart choice when you
took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend
adds, "just imagine how
silly you would have looked in a girl's
clothes - and they wouldn't have
fit you anyway!"
#11
The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing,
runs into a man, and
they both fall down. -"Geez, are you lucky." The
cyclist says.
-"What do you mean by lucky ?" The pedestrian angrily
asks. "I got hurt
really bad." -"Ah, you're lucky because I
recently lost my license. I
usually drive a bus."
#12
Q: How many bikers does it take
to change
a light bulb?
A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the
other to kick the
switch.
#13
The school teacher was furious when Brad

knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard.
"Don't
you know how to ride that yet?" he roared.
"Oh yes!" shouted Brad
over his shoulder.
"It's the bell I can't work yet.
#14
Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more.
Why not? He lost his
balance.
#15
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new
bicycle and
called out to his mother to watch his tricks.


'Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No

teeth!'
#16
What's the hardest thing about learning to
ride a bicycle?
The road.
#17
I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday.

Farcical?
#18
Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill,

but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said:

'I
didn't think we'd make it!' Jill replied,

'Nor did I - what
a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have
slid all the way
back down!'
#19
A little boy out riding his bicycle knocked

down an old lady. She was a bit shaken, but got up, dusted herself
off,
then turned to the little boy and said,

'Don't you
know how to ride a bike?'

'Yes,' he answered, 'but I don't
know how to ring the bell yet'
#20
Why couldn't the
bicycle stand up for
itself?
Because it was two-tyred.