Mother: Did you make your bed today?
Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy one.
Why did the bed spread?
Because it saw the
pillow slip.
Shall I tell you the joke about the bed?
because it hasn't been made up yet.
Why do people go to bed?
Because the bed
won't come to them.
Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.
A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her
house after
dark. 'Hello, Jenny,' said the neighbour. 'Isn't it
time for little
girls to be in bed?'

'How would I know?'
asked Jenny. 'I haven't got any little
I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm

afraid you'll have to make your own bed.

Oh, that's all right, I
don't mind at all.

Right. Here's a hammer, a saw, and some
nails. The wood's in the
I have four legs, but only one
foot. What am I?
A bed
How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long
in it.
Three boys were sharing
the same bed on
holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided
to sleep on the
floor. After a while, one of his friends told him he
might as well
get in to bed again. There's lots of room now,' he
I'd like to buy a bed,
madam. Spring mattress?
Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all
You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's
good for you to go to bed on a full stomach.
Oh, Mum. I
promise I'll lay on my side.
What is the softest bed for a
baby to sleep
Did you hear about the granny who plugged her

electric blanket into the toaster by mistake?
She spent the night
popping out of bed.
I was once in a play called
Breakfast In Bed.

Did you have a big role?
No, just toast and marmalade.
I don't think my Mom knows much about

Why do you say that? Because she always puts me to bed when I'm
awake, and gets me up when I'm sleepy!
Why did the composer spend all his time in

He wrote sheet music.
When Mr Maxwell's wife left him,
he couldn't
Why was that?
She had taken the bed.
Two friends who lived in the town were chatting.

"I've just bought a pig," said the first.
"But where will you
keep it?" said the second.
"Your yard's much too small for a pig!"

"I'm going to keep it under my bed," replied his friend.
what about the smell?"
"He'll soon get used to that."
A little
boy came downstairs crying late one
"What's wrong?" asked his mother.
"Do people really come
from dust, like they said in church?" he
"In a way they
do," said his mother.
"And when they die so they turn back to
"Yes, they do."
The little boy began to cry again. "Well,
under my bed there's
someone either coming or going."
hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered
bed and board, but it was
impossible to say which was the bed and
which was the board.