Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I
soap and water, personally.
Adam: How did Mummy know you
hadn't had a
Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the

Why did the bank robber take a bath?
So he
could make a clean getaway.
Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before

Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm

Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I
suggest you take a cold
bath every morning.

Patient: Oh,
but I do, doctor.

Doctor: You do?

Patient: Yes, every
morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with
nice hot water!
Does your brother keep himself clean?
yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.
Joe: I'll
run the bath then.
Mom: Why?
Joe: Because on the bottle it says
"to be taken in water."
guest: Can you give me a room and a
bath, please?
Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash

Did you hear about the idiot who had a
bath put in?
The plumber said, "Would you like a plug for it?"

The idiot replied, "Oh, I didn't know it was electric."
Dr Frankenstein:
I've just invented
something that everyone in the world will want! You
know how you get a
nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it,
and you have to
clean the ring off?
Igor: Yes, I hate it.
Dr Frankenstein: Well,
you need never have a bathtub ring again! I've
invented the square
tub . . .
Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a

Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
The plumber was working in a house when the lady of

the house said to him, "Will it be alright if I have a bath while

you're having your lunch?"
"It's okay with me lady," said the
plumber, "as long as you don't
splash my sandwiches."
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your
bath, Mrs Soap?
Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the
bath there wasn't
room for medicine.
Boy: Dad, dad, there's a spider in the bath.

Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before.
Boy: Yes,
but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot
Which villains steal soap from the bath?
How do vampire football players get the mud off?

They all get in the bat-tub.