#21
When a baby is learning to eat,
shouldn't he
have an L-plate?
#22
Why is a baby like an diamond?
Because it's
a dear little thing.
#23
What did Baby Corn say to Mother Corn?

Where's Pop Corn?
#24
How do you get a paper baby?
Marry an old
bag.
#25
Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in
weight in
two weeks by drinking elephant's milk.
Whose baby was
it?
The elephant's!
#26
Do you like your
new baby sister?
She's
all right.
Do you play with her?
No, and we can't even send
her back because she's been here more than
28 days.
#27
Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs
Bigger's
baby?
Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.
#28
Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby

sister?
I'd much rather have a jelly baby.
#29
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
You
rock-et.
#30
A distraught mum rushed into the back
yard,
where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old

upturned tin bath with a poker.
"What do you think you're doing?" she
demanded.
"I'm just entertaining the baby," explained Tommy.

"Where is the baby?" asked his Mum.
"Under the bath."
#31
I see the baby's nose is running
again,"
said a worried father.
"For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Can't
you think of anything
other than horse racing?"
#32
Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door?

Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy.
Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off.
"
#33
Why are babies always gurgling with joy?

Because it's a nappy time.
#34
A
scoutmaster asked one of his troop what
good deed he had done for the day.
"Well, Skip," said the scout, "Mum
had only one dose of castor oil
left, so I let my baby brother have
it."
#35
Doctor, doctor, my
baby's swallowed a watch!

Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.
#36
Daddy,
daddy, can I have another glass of
water, please?
But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight!

Yes, but the baby's bedroom is still on fire.
#37
Mum, are the Smiths very poor people?
I
don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask?
Because they made such a fuss
when their baby swallowed a coin
#38
Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She

thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor
because
it was a horrible yeller.
#39
It can't go on! It can't go on!
What can't
go on?
This baby's vest ? it's too small for me.
#40
Why did you drop the
baby?
Well, Mrs
Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see
if he
did.